Communication

Well guys, this week was another great week of learning about marriage and preparing to have a successful marriage. This week we went over communication, and how not all communication is through our words. It is interesting because when we perceive communication verbal is the least amount we perceive. When we perceive communication, it goes words are 14%, nonverbal 51%, tone 35%.  Nonverbal communication can come in many ways such as body language, movement’s, etc. Something to think about next time you are in an argument with a spouse, family, or friend. I know it made me think about times when me and my fiancée are fighting and he asks, “are you okay?”  and I just say, “fine”, even though my words say I am fine, he can always see through my body language (such as: arms folded, pouty face, glaring eyes) and knows that I am not fine, and he precedes to try to make up what has happened.

Another cool thing we learned was the communication model, of how we perceive communication. For the one who is speaking it starts with thoughts/ feelings-Encode (symbol to the brain) – Media – Decode – Share/Influence thoughts and feelings. So, to break this down we understand how we are feeling through thoughts, then we encode them, such as understanding how we can share these feelings through symbols (body language, etc.), then we have media and decode them by knowing how we are going to share then we share, and hopefully the person perceiving them can be influenced by what is said.

A great concept learned was understanding empathy. Empathy is being able to feel with someone what they are feeling. Sometimes this comes through knowing what they are going through and being able to help them feel comforted. Now, this is very different then pity because, pitying someone is just feeling bad for the circumstance that they are going through, while empathy is feeling with them. Emotions show a need or a need that is fulfilled. It reminds me of the movie Inside Out and how they are truly so many different types of emotions and you can have more than one emotion at any single moment. I know for me when I go through hard times such as moving I can be excited for a new place, yet sad to be leaving great friends behind. Even though, I am feeling sad and excited at the same time. God created us to have many different emotions.

We talked about how to communicate and discuss when having to come to a conclusion. You first hold a couple or family meeting then precede to express love (this is important so, when discussing you all know that it is out of love), then start with a prayer, followed with discussing the concerns, then realizing what the Lords will is for you, and then close with a prayer of gratitude. This is an amazing tool that has been told to us by the general authorities to be able to have family councils, and include the Lord in all that we do.

I feel so very blessed to be in this marriage and family class and have this knowledge to strengthen my someday family. I hope this can help anyone else in need of family advice. Everyone should take a class like this to learn more about families.