Theory Time

Have you ever thought about family theories? Like the pattern of your family life? How did you know if you parents were mad at you, even though they didn't say anything?
So this week in class we talked a lot about family theories. What was interesting is when we talked about the patterns we grew up in. Take a minute to think back to your childhood and when you knew your parents were mad at you. How did they react? Did they say anything? Were they silent? I thought back to my parents when they were mad. Both my parents would always just do the silent treatment towards whoever they were mad at. You could always tell they were mad at you because they would talk normally to everyone else in the family except they one that they were mad at. Oddly enough later on in my life on my mission I saw that I was doing those same exact habits. My first companion had the hardest time working with me because she would always say that when I got upset I would "shut down" and not talk to her or isolate myself. When reading about family patterns I realized that was exactly how my parents reacted when they were mad, and I had no idea that i was doing the same thing, even though when growing up I always told myself I wouldn't grow up and act the same as my parents.
Now reflect back on your childhood and think about those reactions to when your parents were upset. Do you do those same patterns? Are you finding that you are more like your parents?
Not only do we tend to react negatively the same, but as well as positively.
Now lets think of how our parents reacted positively when we did something right.. I know for me when I did something good or something that made my parents proud, my dad would come up to me in a very soft voice and say "I am proud of you Tayler" and hug me. And that was it. Nothing more was really said, but that little bit of love and affection was all that I looked for. While my mom approached it a little bit differently, she wouldn't show me much attention, but instead would speak about it to others and brag (probably not the right word but couldn't think of anything else) to her friends and family of my accomplishments. Then pondering on how I react with my fiancee with his accomplishments I find that I am more like my dad and tell him how proud I am and embrace him. It is just funny to see how much I act the same as how my parents reacted with me.
It is interesting to see how much we uncounsiously following in the same way as our up bringing. It defiantly makes you take a step back and reevaluate your life and actions.
I can't wait to find out more and share!

Tayler Roberts